Let’s Talk About Networking — and the Questions We Ask Women

I want to share a story that I hope will challenge how we think about interacting with women at professional events.

Spoiler alert: this story doesn’t involve a man.

I recently attended a legal networking event in NYC. As I walked in, I introduced myself to a woman named Carrie. She did contract work. I mentioned I’m an estate planning attorney.

Two minutes into the conversation, right after we exchanged practice areas, she asked:

“So… are you married? Do you have kids?”

I want to pause right there.

Because here’s what she didn’t ask:

• What kind of clients I serve
• What inspired me to write my book
• What I’m building next

Here’s what she didn’t know:

• I’m a JD and a CPA
• I’ve built two 7-figure businesses and am growing a third
• I’ve worked on Wall Street
• I ran the NYC Marathon in 4.5 hours
• I just launched my first book
• I’ve done all of this without the backing of a spouse or a wealthy family

And yet, the very first thing a fellow female attorney asked me — at a professional event — was about my marital and parental status.

Then came the inevitable:

“But you’re so pretty! Why not?”

What followed was a 20-minute story about how she met her husband in a parking garage 40 years ago — and I felt like I had no choice but to listen, because it’s considered bad form to interrupt or disengage when a woman shares her “how I met my husband” story.

I left that event feeling dismissed — not because I was asked a personal question, or because I’m unhappy with my choices — but because everything I’ve built, everything I’ve worked for, was instantly sidelined in favor of a narrative centered on traditional roles.

We can do better.

Let’s honor women for what they’re doing — not just whether they’ve found a partner or had children.

Women are building things that matter. Let’s meet them there.

– Laura

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